…on the occasion of your becoming an adult. From today onwards the world, or at least the law, will identify you as a man. But may I remind you that achieving manhood (whatever that means in this day and age) is not given, it is earned. Here are some words of wisdom that I hope will serve you well in your life ahead. In a world hypnotised by technology, take every opportunity to practice your own humanity – be a mensch. Politeness, humility, gratitude and generosity are all behaviours that machines can already mimic (and often better than most people) but you have better hardware.
Look people in the eye when you meet them. Be open and sincere about how you feel and enjoy the fresh air this brings to interactions with friends and colleagues. Learn to perceive and appreciate this in others. Love your brothers – we will tell them to love you too.
Spend time with people not with electronics. Take pictures but remember that your life is for living not for recording. It is nice to have something to look back on as you get older, but it is unlikely that you will have time to review movies of people, long-forgotten, taking selfies (I mean having fun). True value is not a ‘money thing, and always give more than you take and never spend more than you earn.
Read poetry, if you can find its voice it will help you engage with the human condition. Be kind. Try not to put yourself first, don’t ever expect anyone to put you first either. Give love freely. Seek out love and treat it with respect when you find it. It is a finite resource that you cannot measure or qualify and can evaporate in a moment. Prepare to have your heart broken – it hurts – but never fear falling in love, it’s worth the ride.
Never stop learning, it is a great way of growing and what you learn will serve as a true possession in times of hardship. Offer what you have learned freely to others. Take every opportunity to be creative, you can use any canvas to explore your imagination. Be bold. Don’t worry about what others are doing or saying, whatever it is, it will be focused on the challenges they are facing with their own journey.
Don’t live in fear, stand up for yourself and stand up for others. Be gentle. Most negative responses are born of the petty fears that others don’t have the emotional strength to address for themselves. Understanding this will help you determine how you can help those around you. When the lights go out in your own life, and they will from time to time, please remember that you are our loved and cherished son and this will remain an undeniable truth whatever else happens (in this life and whatever happens beyond).
Finally, don’t read this advice today – it won’t mean anything to you. But read it before you are 35, and know that (wherever we are) we are filled with pride and are honoured to have had you as our son.
Love Mum and Dad X
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