Son, I wanted to record this landmark day in your progress through life. Unlike many of the celebrations we have been through together, today marks your transition into the working world – adulthood, whatever that means.
Becoming a dad is like riding a rollercoaster, racing with no control at an unbearable pace, being tossed through the highs and lows of all human emotions with no way of getting off. Every new ‘episode’ in your journey has filled me with excitement, pride and fear – you will never appreciate the feeling until one day you stand in these shoes yourself. From what I have seen so far, one thing at least is certain, you will meet these challenges in your own inimitable and intelligent way.
When you were very young, I would sit outside your bedroom door listening to you breathe (to be honest checking that you were still breathing). Return home, often late from work, I would often fall asleep on your bedroom floor holding your hand. You won’t remember this. And although I may tease you about the endless crying, I have watch you face each of your life’s-challenges with fortitude. You may not have always emerged victorious, but you always tried. I held back tears on the first day of each school year. It broke my heart to leave you in the care of others and I am grateful that your mother made me attend these events (not ‘the done thing’ in my day) and that she captured so many of your ‘firsts’ on camera. It is only when you are a parent yourself that you come to realise that young lives are so full of firsts, first swim, first time on a team, first girlfriend. Each event mile-stoning your progress and providing another opportunity for your parents’ hearts to swell with pride.
I don’t know whether you remember the time you were the only ‘Harlequin’ to show up at a rugby training camp – soul-destroying. And yet you held your own in freezing weather – the opposing teams gave you a round of applause for your bravery (emotional overdrive). I am still in awe of the ease with which you can stand on stage and entertain crowds. I was also struck dumb by your Head Boy’s speech. Not everyone can share a platform with a seasoned politician, indeed a Lord of the realm, and outperform him. You have succeeded at so much already.
You entered university as a young man. We realised that the countdown had begun to the day when you would stand proudly on your own two feet, master of your successes. Your mother and I have watched your progress in amazement. And today, Graduation Day is upon us and you are getting the recognition you deserve for all your hard work. I will remind your that universities do not give away firsts lightly – be proud of your achievement. What every direction you take from here, no one will ever be able to take that away from you. Going forward, please remember that few people end up using their degree in the way they thought they would. This is not failure, just navigating life’s trade winds. One thing is certain, your science will always serve you well, wherever you end up. I hope it will help you appreciate and understand the beauty around you and make sense of this crazy mixed-up world.
There are few gifts of real value that we can give you that you haven’t already given yourself by dint of your own hard work, creativity and determination. So, today, son, I give you the gift of freedom. From today, you are free to be your unique self, to explore, to learn, to make your own mistakes and, inevitably, to fail. I promise always to cheer for you as you learn and grow. You are free to fall and to rise. And every single step of the way, be sure that we support and love you, always. No matter what you do, where you go, who you love, you are at home in our hearts.
You also have my time – I realise that rather than spending it with you I have already wasted too much of it on superfluous claptrap. I appreciate that you will need less of this as you spread your wings, but we will be ready and waiting. Your mother says that I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you – so, whenever your ego ever needs boosting, don’t ever forget that I am the founding member of the Jack Hardman Appreciation Society. That said, I am not putting my red pen away. I will always be the one person who speaks the truth to you. Never for the sake of finding fault but rather to help you achieve your best self. I believe in you – I always have and always will.
Finally, please accept our unconditional love, no strings attached. There is nothing you could possibly do that could separate our love from you. You, will never disappoint us (though I will struggle if you decide to vote Conservative). You are the greatest gift that life has been kind enough to bless me with (not detracting from your brothers or mother – also my greatest gift). And although you will most likely not see me cry today (I will be biting my lip and you will be rightly distracted and ‘in the moment’), rest assured there are tears, they are full of life, joy and memories. Most importantly, my tears will be of anticipation of the great journey that is ahead for you that I am excited to watch of much of as humanly possible. Your life has a purpose. You will do great things.
Happy graduation, son.
Your biggest fan, Dad (and Mum)
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